The Art of Communication: How to Truly Understand Others

2024-12-16 09:57

The ability to communicate effectively is a fundamental skill for building and maintaining both personal and professional relationships. However, understanding others can be a challenging task to master. Here are two techniques for constructive interaction that can enhance your communication skills.

№1: Active Listening

Pay close attention to what your interlocutor is saying and try to understand their perspective. Avoid interrupting or formulating your response while they are still speaking.

What specific behaviors does active listening involve?

Clarifying Questions: Ask questions to clarify the other person's words, thoughts and meanings or situation. This ensures that you understand them as they would like to be understood – without distortions or imposing your interpretation on their words.
Paraphrasing: Restate your interlocutor’s words and thoughts in your own words to confirm you understood them in an accurate way (like your partner meant them to be understood).

Applying these two specific behaviors demonstrates that you are actively engaged in the conversation and genuinely interested in understanding the other person’s perspective.

Example Situation to Solidify Your Knowledge

Two colleagues, Michael and Dennis, are discussing preparations for an International Women's Day event.

Michael: "How about we organize a champagne breakfast for the women at 9:30 AM?"
Dennis: "That idea won’t work at all."

What NOT to do:

Michael stops brainstorming alternative options and, in the worst-case scenario, takes offense.

What TO do:

Michael: "Why do you think this idea won’t work?" (clarifying question)
Dennis: "Because everyone is busy with work at 9:30 AM."
Michael: "So, if I understand you correctly, you think the timing is the issue? In other words, if we organize a late lunch with champagne, would that work?"(paraphrasing)
Dennis: "Yes, exactly."

By using active listening techniques, Michael understood Dennis in the way Dennis wanted to be understood – without being misled by his own assumptions!

Whenever we learn and actually use a new communication technique, we change our behavior on the one hand, and on the other we develop ourselves a step or two further. You can find out more about this in the article: How We Develop When We Change Our Behavior: 3 Key Aspects.

№2: Empathy

Try to put yourself in your interlocutor’s shoes and imagine how they feel. This will help you better understand their situation and respond appropriately.

Example Situation

Let’s imagine that Dennis had organized several events before. Last year, his idea was implemented, but, eventually, his colleagues were rather dissatisfied with it. This year, Dennis doesn’t want to “fail again” and feels quite some pressure to ensure the event would be successful.

If Michael took Dennis’ history into account, he might understand why Dennis reacted so strongly to his suggestion. Specifically, Dennis simply wants to avoid repeating past mistakes and causing dissatisfaction among colleagues.

Michael: "You seem to be rejecting my idea so strongly because you’re worried about another unsuccessful event like last year, right?" (empathy)

Key Takeaways

Communication problems often arise when people interrupt or criticize others instead of listening, understanding, and empathizing. Phrases like “You’re right, but...” can easily be perceived as “Actually, you’re NOT right...” Phrases like this can come across as condescending and dismissive.

If you want to take your communication skills to the next level and dive deeper into constructive communication, consider enrolling in a short-term training program on these topics. To understand exactly what short-term training is, you can read the article: What Is Short-Term Training, and What Does It Offer?